A new brand of eye drops will soon let sociopaths, as well as psychopaths and narcissists, feign empathy in situations where crying is expected. Synsen Labs, Inc. invented Crocodile Teardrops last year, and the product recently received FDA approval.
The patented formula stimulates the tear ducts, forcing users’ eyes to water uncontrollably and mimic real tears. The results are reportedly much more effective than any product currently available.
The company guarantees users up to ten minutes of constant crying, after which the effect slowly wears off, and the drops will need to be reapplied.
Dr. Stephen Housley, who created the drops, said those with anti-social personality disorder have needs just like anyone else. “Some people need anxiety medications to function normally. Others take insulin to control diabetes. And some people need help showing emotions.”
A Growing Market
Psychologists estimate that sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists may constitute up to 5% of the general population. While these three categories have much overlap, a lack of empathy toward others is the common denominator. Naturally, this can make crying difficult.
“The really scary ones are probably around one to five percent of the populous,” said Edward Berman, a clinical psychiatrist in New York, “but empathy is a sliding scale. A quarter of the population easily struggles with empathy on some level. You might not call these people evil, but you might be surprised at how little they really care about you.”
Narcissists in particular are renowned for their ability to fake empathy, to the point where they actually appear more compassionate than those around them.
1-5% of the population means upwards of two million people in the United States alone who feel little to no compassion. For Housely, that’s an untapped market.
Tears For the Tearless
“Sociopaths are our primary market,” said Housely. “Narcissists might be able to fake tears when they need to, and a psychopath probably won’t care. But the sociopaths know they are different and often want to hide that fact.”
But Housely expects his customer base to be much broader than those suffering from serious psychological disorders. “Sometimes it’s just hard to cry. If you’re going to a funeral for someone you barely know, it might be difficult to summon tears, and that’s kind of awkward when everyone else is weeping.”
The Jest interviewed several clinically diagnosed sociopaths who said they are more than excited about Crocodile Tears.
One CEO, who requested he remain anonymous, said he has been waiting for a product like this for decades: “All these sob stories are overwhelming when you’re trying to work. I just can’t stand it, but I have to sit there and act like I care or people will think I’m some kind of monster. It’s exhausting. But let me tell you right now, if I could make it look like I was crying, oh man…”
Another sociopath, a surgeon from Seattle, agreed: “It’s kind of hard to cry when you don’t feel anything,” he said with a chuckle. “What the hell do these people want from me?”
Housely said those who have tried the product are already praising it:
“One of our testers visited a dying friend in the hospital. The family was a wreck, but she didn’t feel anything. So she goes into the bathroom and puts a drop in each eye. Five minutes later she was crying like a baby, and the family was consoling her.”
Some fear a product like this will only make those with personality disorders even more dangerous, but Housely firmly disagrees. “Yes, they may use the product, but should we stop selling knives too?”
Housely admitted that forced crying is not the same as a product that would actually create empathy. “Now there’s an idea. Maybe we’ll make that next,” he said.
Crocodile Teardrops will be available in October at all major retailers and will start at $9.99 for a one ounce bottle.
